Lowering herself. He reached up and wiped a tear away with his thumb. She grabbed that hand and put it to her cheek, kissing it over and over then putting it back to her cheek where her tears made it wet."I don't know, Joyce." Please!" the tears spilled over. "I want to take care of you. I want to cook for you, I want to clean for you, I want to do your laundry, I want to take care of you if you become ill, I want to do whatever it takes to make you happy. If you are happy then I'll be happy. I have never met a man like you. I knew you would be at the game yesterday. You always go when the Tigers play. It was just an excuse for me to pickup that money." Don't beg me, Joyce!" he said softly. "I'm not the man you think I am. The doctors told me that I almost died from my wound. They said I still might. I can get a clot and go just like that," he snapped his fingers. "It's a good thing we had a chopper close by and they got me to the medivacs as fast as they did." Then let me take care. I’ll know in a couple of days. For the very most part the pain is barely noticeable and the noise is a very quiet hum. I can almost think but not quite. Wisps of story ideas are slipping from behind the wall. If I put any effort toward it pressure starts building so I’m not there yet.One of our Oak members sent me some music recommendations to help with the anxiety issues. So far, I haven’t got past the first song “Weightless” by the Marconi Union. It was specifically designed by the composers in conjunction with sound therapists to reduce anxiety. It works superbly. It’s on youtube. I’m also using it to see if I can learn to meditate again. One of the reasons my anxiety is through the roof is my illness took my ability to do deep meditation which I have done since I was in my middle teens.When I was younger I had the feeling that a lot of young people people do of being an outsider. I also had the unfortunate experience of having it reinforced a whole lot. Now, being an outsider.
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